Stinky Feet & Head Cheese August 21, 2009

I’m changing up my blog a bit. There have been a lot of changes in the last year, I’ve had to focus on other stuff for a while, and now, I’m back. For now, I’ll continue to use WordPress as my blog host and link Vlogs to You Tube. I’m also in the process of creating a German/English blog/vlog called “SPARKS”.

There are so many things I encounter on a daily basis to which I wish I had the answer in the moment. Know that feeling? Brandon & I often have the most awesome conversations (I’m not ashamed of saying that 🙂 ). And later, I wish I had recorded it. So, for both reasons, I will be carrying a video camera around with me just about everywhere. I want to capture the moment, the momentum, and the “revelation” and share it with you – A SPARK… JUST TO GET YOU THINKING… and hopefully doing.

Here’s my first attempt at “vlogging” (not flogging) – unedited, which is how I’d like to keep it – just plain real (even though I don’t like the way I look on camera).

CLICK HERE AND ENJOY MY LATEST VLOG ON STINKY FEET AND HEAD CHEESE!

Official and Open Crap-Slinging March 6, 2008

Don’t you love it when people give the impression that things are always going GREAT! Everything is AWESOME all the time! It’s just Heaven on Earth, what can I s-a-y-h-a-y? Even King David experienced major lows and let everyone know about it. Yeah, been kind of l-o-w lately.

Firstly, there are things happening thousands of miles away from me with people I care deeply about – and I can’t just hop into the car and go see them for the weekend to be there for them. I have to remind myself that they are proud of me for being obedient to the Lord and fulfilling His mission where I am. Otherwise, I would be fearful of them thinking that I don’t care about them, because we have devoted our lives to another country. We are truly blessed to have family who accepts the weird and crazy lifestyle we’ve chosen – or I should say – has been chosen for us by you know who.

Secondly, I’m not the only thing that’s been l-o-w lately. The exchange rate has been horrific! We are downsizing – once again – whoop-tee-doo! Most likely to an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-yellow-poka-dot apartment on the 5th floor without an elevator. But we aren’t the only ones. There are soooooo many missionaries who are having difficult times due to the US Dollar losing its value. My pastor’s wife, Debbie, has been encouraging me while reading my emails of dissapointment, discouragement, and well, quite honestly, derangement. People raise millions of dollars per day for ‘good’ causes. But churches are cutting missions support left and right, due to lack of funds (um, in the right place), and people who actually have some money to give decide to upgrade their comforts first – hey, I’ve done it too!, so there’s no throwing stones. But it IS an epidemic.
And well, I used my state of wallowing in the muck to write a song called “Where’s my Medication!?!”. Had no idea these times could be so useful – ha!

Check this out:

Romans 8:

27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. – He put me in my place and showed me myself; I realized that I was self-righteous (like Job), cuz I thought “things shouldn’t be this way for me.”
28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. – no matter where the hardships come from, He is making sure He will be glorified in the end and that we are conformed more into his image.
29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son… – um, I could get real deep here, but let’s just say “wow!”
30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified…

31 What then shall we say to these things? – sufferings of this present time – If God is for us, who can be against us?
32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?
33 Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies.
34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. – I always struggled with this till lately. I always thought that if JESUS is praying for me, why is all this crap happening to me? Jesus’ prayers are perfect, right? He never misses the mark, right? This would mean that God is either ignoring Jesus’ prayers or not answering some of them. Jesus wants what is “best for me”, so that is what He is praying for – OR – it would mean that Jesus is praying perfectly in line with the will of the Father, so the Father is answering every single one of ’em. Sooo…. His idea of what is “best for us” is different than our idea. I trust that God is keeping everything in check.
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? – No matter what happens, or doesn’t, HE LOVES ME. I couldn’t ask for more.

37 No, in all these things IN these things. God never promised immunity! we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,
39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. – I am His forerver


2. Corinthians 1:
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

So, be generous and comfort others who are going through bad times. In all these years and having experienced such hurt, rejection and distress- when I have turned from looking at myself and focused again on the faithfulness and justice of God (everything he does or allows is right and holy and has a righteous reason) and have given of myself to others for His sake, I have conquered (yet not I, but Christ in me).

So, I boast in my weakness!!!!!!!! Yeah, eat your heart out, I’m weak!

2. Corinthians 12:
9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

If you don’t like this truth, maybe you’ve got a self-righteous pride issue just like the rest of us. – Gotcha!

What’s it like to be a missionary? July 28, 2007

I’m sure every missionary would give a different answer to that question. It all depends on where they’re from, which paradigms they have, how they view life, which denomination they’re out of, what their role is, and the list goes on. As for my husband and me…. we pioneer, create something out of nothing…. and we started in a way in which most don’t have to, nor would I advise anyone to, unless they knew beyond a shadow of a doubt it was the way for them. After paying our last bills in the States and without any promise of support, we left with $200 to our name.

We have to be extremely self-motivated, because if anything’s going to happen, it will be because we made it happen. I think, one of the weirdest part for me is learning not to worry about what others think about us. They don’t seem to understand the decisions we make – why we move where we do and do things the way we do. My only answer to all of the above would be CONVICTION. Besides the Lord Himself, souls are the most important factor in it all. If I didn’t believe that what we are doing is HIS WILL for us, then I’d be working for some interior decorating company, joining a band, and driving a sports car (well, maybe a honkin pick up) and being a witness through all of that.

Let’s see… we have left friends, family, possessions, and last but not least, a consistent income. I’m sure you’ve heard that marital problems are often linked to financial stress. I would be lying through my teeth if I said Brandon and I haven’t been challenged in this area. And, baby, let me tell you right off the bat, that just because you’re struggling financially as a missionary does not mean you are out of the will of God. Far from it. (hello, look at Paul. he’s just one example). We don’t have permission to work or start a business here. We are not eligible for any government assistance. Working overtime doesn’t produce any extra income. We are completely and solely dependent on freewill offerings.

When we tell people what we do and that we need their money, they really just have to trust us blindly, because we’re not in Africa with pictures of babies with swollen bellies to show. Although we do help the poor and needy, most of our work is spiritual – you know, the side that makes sure their eternity is in tact. Honestly, I’m not surprised when people don’t jump up and scream “I believe in you! I want to give you whatever I can!” So, when people sow into our ministry, I am humbled, blessed, and extremely thankful. It’s one more person telling me that God is for me.

You see, getting people saved, healed and delivered is the EASY part of missions. The hard part is gritting your teeth and saying, “God, I trust you. Lord, you are my provider. Help me to do what I need to do, and I trust you to do your part.” over and over and over again. Bottom line: As a missionary, you have to be determined to stick it out through the good and the bad – like a marriage. If anyone really knew our financial situation, they would gasp and not believe we’ve been all over the place and ministered to thousands upon thousands. Because in the natural, it’s just been impossible.

Only by the grace of God. He enables us. He strengthens us. He is our Hope, Future and Promise. When I was about 14, a lady was praying for me and held me in her arms and wept as she kept repeating these words: “It doesn’t cost. It pays! It doesn’t cost. It pays!” I have come to find out that well, it does cost something – family, friends, things you hold dear, and unpleasantries, but what the Lord was telling me through that was that the reward in the end far outweighs anything I could ever keep holding onto. Besides, the longer we stick it out, the better it gets. Of course, nothing compares to the joy of seeing people healed of cancer, come into the Kingdom of God, be set free from depression, get a job which the Lord provides, etc. etc. etc. – in places where most have no idea of who Jesus is. When the late Lester Sumrall (a preacher) was asked how he made it as far as he did, his answer was simply, “I didn’t quit.”

He that loses his life for my sake will find it. There you have it.

Listen to my audio download on “Finding Happiness” here:

Finding Happiness….

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What the heck am I doing in Germany anyway? March 14, 2007

I’m glad you asked. Germany was the last place I wanted to go. Been there. Done that. I grew up right next door in Austria, which is why I speak fluent German. I thought if I were going to the mission field, it should at least be somewhere new. I wasn’t fond of the culture (although now I’ve come to appreciate it). Didn’t like the food which consists of kraut, potatoes, and lots of pig (I prefer tex-mex). And it’s COLD over here!

So, God, please send me to the islands where I can wear linen and sandals everywhere, live on coconuts and bananas and ride horseback on the beach. Yeah, a beach ministry would have fit me MUCH better. Drive a VW bus, dress like a hippie/cowgirl. That would be me.

(me, wearing my favorite vintage parrot shirt)

Have you ever heard anyone say that if God sends you somewhere, you’ll love it??? Ehh, wrong! At least not necessarily, or at first, or even after a few years (like it was with me; now it feels like home). My heart was constantly pulling me towards Italy, where we started in 1999, and Greece. But I was being called to the North.

THERE’S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING CALLED AND YOUR HEART PULLING YOU. My heart was set on something to which I was not called, at least not at that time. Here’s a more day-to-day example: You’ve got your heart set on going to an event that will be wonderful & life-changing, but you just know inside that you are supposed to go somewhere else at that time, possibly even for reasons you can’t find.

I have days where my heart pulls me toward America. I love the quality of food, the soap and candle scents, the houses, the cars, and Mississippi because I can swim most of the year in water that doesn’t freeze your buttocks off! But, simultaneously, I couldn’t leave Europe right now, because it calls me night and day. Europe calls my name and shouts “We need you here!” My heart hears the same cry from people in other places in the world (I’d get on an airplane and fly to Thailand tomorrow if I could). But it’s not calling me right now.

So, to not bore you with further paragraphs of trying to explain something without going around in circles…. I’ll shut up. Now you know why I’m in Germany. I’m glad I heard the CALL and answered. Pioneering the way we do isn’t easy by any means, but the rush you get from seeing the fruit of your labor is incomparible.

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